overconfidently

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USERNAME: GREY
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You wouldn't have.

thanks. for telling me by the way. if this midnighter guy gives you any trouble, i'll deal with him.

I appreciate that, a lot.

[ Does Scott have any concerns? No. ]

( oh he figures scott wouldn't actually call on him, but. a kid can dream. )

are things ok with you? aside from packing and getting a place for yourself and whatever stress that involves.

Yeah. Most of the chaos is around me, but not directly impacting me.

yeah. i feel the same. i've had to shut things off lately. feeling them i mean. it's just a lot lately.

That's a pretty standard coping method for me. It's a bad one.

if i don't, i get overwhelmed with everyone else's things. sometimes i feel like a sponge. absorbing everything from everyone else.

i like how you know it's a bad coping method yet still do it.

Shutting out everyone else's shit is actually smart.

It's complicated. It works. I want more for you.

( oh.. )

there's something i want. but i'm not sure if i should.

You definitely should.

i want to spend time with you and jean. together.

Jean and I are still working on how to spend time together, but I'm sure we can work something out.

( he's honestly nervous to ask because he's still trying to figure out his relationship with them both. )

it's not urgent or anything. i just thought it might be nice some day.

We'd both enjoy it.

( oof. catch him smiling a little at his phone. )

me too. i want to get to know you both.

One of the things that will be better when you make it back to my native universe: There's more of me to get to know.

are you trying to say you're not perfect?

...Yes. For a start and radically understated.

i don't need perfect.

That's good because no one, including Jean, is actually that.

What I'm actually trying to tell you is that when we met in my past there was a lot more 'Scott' and attempt to have a normal life from me. At this point I'm working to crawl out of 'Cyclops'. Being here helps that but you're still meeting a... harder version of who I am than you would at home.

I'm trying, but I still regret that.

( if this is genuine honesty from him, he's not sure how to feel about it. surprised? curious? thankful? he feels A Way but he doesn't know what way. eventually, he leans more into being like his mother — being empathic. )

i'm also not the version you're used to. or that you know better. i'm younger, i know. i can see it in the way you and jean look at me. and it's different now because i'm here and not where you're from. where we first met. so things are different and going to be different. for you and for me.

maybe if i was the version you already know and gave more to as scott, it'd be harder for me and you here. i don't know. but i'm me and you're you and we're both here. we just have to do the best that we can.

You're right.

[ That's a lot from Nate. Hell it was a lot from him.]

( he's an arrogant brat sometimes — how can he not be at his age and with his power? but he's also empathic. also insecure and afraid and just understands more than people maybe know. )

you don't have to be the scott that i'll maybe come to know some day. you're the scott i have here and you're the only scott i've ever known. maybe you think that's unfair or that i deserve better. but you're who i have here and that's more than i ever thought i would have.

[ There's a lot there he doesn't know how to respond to, but is glad to be told. Awkward. Not bad, per se, but awkward. ]

I know. I'm not trying to 'escape' you.

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overconfidently - 2022-08-11 17:08 (UTC) - Expand

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