overconfidently

making conversation
what does ‘sort of’ mean?

the person who i'm related to by blood is here. everyone calls him my father but i still have a hard time looking at him as that when he didn't raise me and i barely know him.

( she asked for small talk, nate, not relatable trauma hour. )

i’m not an expert but i think that makes him not your father
what’s his name?

scott. it doesn't help that, from his point in time, things have happened and i'm a source of trauma for him, in a way. i keep being told that he's been through a lot, that he cares, that i need to be easy on him. but it's hard to when i constantly feel like i'm just some trigger to him. that i'm the one that has to reach out. that it wouldn't even matter if i wasn't here. i doubt i'd be missed. how can you miss someone when you're always claiming you can't be what your own kid needs?

( a father. )

Edited 2022-12-20 19:02 (UTC)

haven’t met him yet

sounds like people are being a little unfair to you with all that
but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t miss you

( hadn’t melina missed her and yelena? and her true mother — searching until her death… even though natasha could barely put a face to her, and couldn’t remember her name. )

well at least one of us is optimistic about that.

you can ask steve exactly how often i’m mistaken for optimistic

look i’m hardly the glowing example of healthy family dynamics
but just because it’s difficult to be around someone doesn’t mean you wouldn’t miss them if they were gone

( see also: yelena, sometimes. bucky, most times — because he’s gone back home. )