[ if it hadn't been strange to hear that question, it might have been amusing. it's not like it was the worst hit he'd ever taken, and maybe nate doesn't quite understand anything about him or the serum. it's not as if he'd really talked about it; most people who knew him already knew those things about him. it's not something he'd specifically discussed with nate either, so he gives his fingers another squeeze and lightly runs his thumb over nate's knuckles. ]
I'm stronger than I look. [ his slight smile says he's teasing. ] But if you're that worried about it, you can check it for me.
[ he doesn't have any problem stripping out of his shirt if that's what nate needs to relax. ]
( the offer to have him be checked over has a quiet huff of laughter leave nate's lips. really, it's appreciated that steve can make him laugh when he feels so bad for tossing him. )
I'm not exactly a doctor, but. Also not ever going to say no to you taking your shirt off.
( he laughs a little again, head ducking and white bangs falling in front of his face as he does. taking a moment to swallow, he looks back up to steve then, blue eyes curious. wondering. )
You're different. I don't know what it is, but... there's something. I feel like it has to do with that shield you have.
( he knows steve isn't a mutant. but he also knows there's others who are capable of things that aren't mutants or entirely human. )
[ he's mid-pulling his shirt over his head when the rest of that settles in the air, and though he's now bare from the waist up, steve just settles his hands in his lap and turns to look at nate. he would never think of lying to him, but how does he explain? most of this has already been laid out for everyone for years. in a museum exhibit. ]
It's not about the shield, [ he says after a moment, absently curling his hands in the fabric of his shirt. ] When I was younger, the world was at war, and all I wanted then was to join the army. Fight for my country. Protect people who couldn't protect themselves. [ there's a light shake of his head. ] But I could never pass the physical. Not with the health record I had back then and the fact I was almost a foot shorter than I am now.
[ considering how scrawny he'd been? steve can still remember how everyone had laughed at him for trying to do what he'd thought was right. ]
Anyway, I met a good man who offered me a chance to change all that. It was an experiment with this serum... [ he lifts one shoulder in a shrug. ] The rest is history, I guess. They called me a super soldier, like that's all I was, and maybe, for a while, I believed that. Things change though. You don't have to be what people say you are.
( nate listens as steve explains what's so different about him β what he had been picking up on but hadn't pried into his thoughts to see for himself and when he's told just what it is that makes him so different, he feels a pang of sympathy throughout him for steve. they called me a super soldier, like that's all i was resonates with nate in a way that hurts. to have been called a weapon himself β like that's all he was good or meant for... to think that steve had felt that sort of similar burden or wrongdoing of others towards him with thinking that way... it has nate relive the very things that he feels regarding that, even if the circumstances are a little different.
gentle, he reaches out and lets the tips of his fingers touch at steve's shoulder then, splaying them over until his hand slowly brushes over his shoulder blade and down the curve of his back. )
I didn't see a super soldier when I met you here. I saw someone with a strong heart who wanted to help people.
( he knows that song and dance himself because, like steve, he also wants to protect and help people. even if he's more reactive than proactive about it.
bowing his head, he presses a faint ghost-touch of a kiss to the other man's shoulder, letting the tips of his fingers run over his back in various shapes and patterns. )
[ he's lost in his thoughts for a moment, reliving those years of his life as if he'd just been there, and really, for steve, they hadn't been all that long ago. a little more than a decade, even if it was technically separated by almost eight in reality. time is strange like that, and when nate touches his shoulder, he turns to look at him, the chill that slides down his spine very much real.
it's intimate, suddenly, and it's startling how much he's missed this kind of connection with another person. ]
This place makes it difficult, but I'm trying.
[ the smile he offers nate is weak, though he does turn into him so he can grasp at his fingers. give them a squeeze. ]
I think we're alike in that way. [ and he lifts nate's hands to press a kiss against his knuckles. ]
( the kiss to his knuckles β the intimacy behind it is both soft and sweet in ways that nate needs in his life. in ways that he feels steve needs in his life. while he can't claim to know everything about the other man [though he's learned something new tonight] and he's not about to peek inside his thoughts like a snoop, he knows enough of how he is and the things he wants to do for others to know that he maybe forgets about himself in all of that... maybe doesn't know what it's like to just be normal or have some semblance of it.
so he's right to say they're alike in certain ways and while he's not sure he would necessarily want someone else to know what it's like, there's a comfort in having steve get it. especially when that comfort turns soft and gentle like this. )
I also think your back is going to be ok.
( huff of laughter soft and sweet on his lips as he lifts his head from steve's shoulder, he stares to the other man before he leans in and noses at him gently, lips just barely there close to his. )
[ nate laughs, and steve smiles then, a real smile that reaches his eyes. he leans into him too, soaking up his warmth and savoring it for a moment before he thinks to respond. ]
Yeah, no matter what.
[ it's a murmur, conscious of how close they are, and it's oddly easy to just bridge that gap and kiss him. the contact is gentle, at first. just something to ground them both, easing into it and deepening it after a moment. it doesn't escape steve that he's already in nate's bed with his shirt off, but for now, he's content to kiss him and be close.
and he settles his hand on the back of nate's neck when a loud roll of thunder breaks their kiss and the silence. steve tries not to laugh. ]
( when the kiss deepens, nate lets it β encourages it even with the soft little hum there on his lips. moments like these are nice... he likes these normal moments that he can have with someone. especially someone he's fond of.
the crack of thunder causing their kiss to break has nate blink a couple times before he laughs a little himself, especially when steve goes and asks if he can stay awhile. no second thoughts needed, he just nods, brushing the pads of his fingers over the man's bicep as he does. )
Pretty sure it's more than ok, yeah.
( again, he laughs a little and he tilts his head, letting blue eyes scan over steve's face there in the darkness that he's grown accustomed to now. )
Especially if there's more making out involved?
( he's absolutely hopeful in the way he asks that. )
[ he gives him a smile then, still small but with a little more life to it. being with nate always makes him feel more carefree than he has any right to be these days, like the state of the world (and this place) doesn't matter so much when they're together. and it's good, enjoying the closeness and wanting more of it. he doesn't need to overthink it, pushing his fingers up into nate's hair and watching his movements despite the darkness. ]
I think we can manage that.
[ it's a soft tease, leaning to take another kiss before he moves to get a little more comfortable.
steve leaves his shirt, letting it drop to the floor, and once he's fully sitting on the bed, he urges nate into his lap so he can settle his hands at his hips. he gives them a squeeze, stroking up his sides and to his face to cup his cheeks. pulling him closer, their noses touch. ]
( when he's pulled into the other man's lap, he complies, settling there with legs on either side of steve. hands reach out within the darkness to grasp softly at the sides of steve's neck, needing to hold him and feel his warmth beneath his touch. to know that he's real β that he's here. that they're both here and nowhere else.
blue eyes falling shut, he hums a little softly at the question, a slow nod to follow. )
I've got you here with me. How can I not be?
( he can't help the smile there on his lips, even if it's soft in the darkness. )
There's no one else here I'd rather be contracted to. ( words soft, hands gently squeeze at steve's neck and he noses the man, chuckling softly against his mouth. ) Don't ask me if I'm sure about it or how I could still meet someone else. I said what I said and I mean it, so. You should just accept it.
[ rhetorical as it is, steve knows there are plenty of reasons why he might not be as okay as he says he is. but that's not really something either of them want to dive into right now, so he nods once and tips his face into nate's to kiss him again.
it's always a little more each time, finding the softness of his mouth and pressing into it for more. he tastes him, traces the edge of his tongue with his own, and that's something else too, humming quietly into the kiss as things begin to fall into place and make sense. nate's right; he doesn't think he'd want to be contracted to anyone else right now. maybe, eventually, he'd use his power as a dominant to help more people, but for now, it's good to just live together as they are. ]
I do. [ and that's not a lie, murmured against his lips as steve presses an even lighter kiss to his cheek. ] I'm glad you're here with me right now.
[ and that he isn't alone. that they understand each other a little more than before. ]
( every kiss and touch sends warm little sparks throughout the telepath and nate can't help but keep that smile on his face as steve lavishes him in gentle affection. it's sweet β steve's sweet and really shouldn't be in a place like this and yet... he's glad he is β glad that they've met and become as close and friendly as they are with one another. he doesn't care what anyone else might think for things neither of them have done or experienced or [strained] relationships that don't really exist here. all that matters is that they somehow formed a connection with one another and nate cherishes it β cherishes him and all that they have with each other, no matter what that is. )
Even if I'm not a real doctor? Wow, lucky me.
( tilt of his head, he laughs a little before he dives in for another kiss β a deeper kiss, ignoring the patter of the rain and the howling of the wind outside every now and then. just completely focused on steve and only steve. so much that he doesn't want to stop and so he tips them over and falls onto his back against the bed, pulling the other down with him, smile on his lips as he does as he catches steve's in another kiss. sighing happily into it as he does. )
[ somehow, the rain and the storm outside add to the intimacy of the moment.
steve follows nate easily, pinning him against the mattress as they kiss, and it occurs to him that nate is considerably overdressed despite the fact he was just sleeping a short while ago. he's certain he wants more than this, though there's no rush to it whatsoever as he slides a hand under nate's shirt and traces the warmth of his skin. ]
Even if you're not a real doctor, [ he agrees, right against nate's ear in a low murmur. ] I like you just the way you are.
[ it's meant to be reassuring, kissing at the pulse point at the side of his neck as his mouth descends. steve traces the line of nate's collarbone as his fingers move, stroking over nate's ribs and across his abdomen. it feels good just to touch him, to have him respond and react, and he follows a trail up his throat and chin to kiss him like before, the contact deep and solid and very much expressing how much he wants nate. ]
( this is one of those moments where, despite being a telepath, steve's actions are more than obvious enough with what is currently on his mind and nate can't help but softly gasp at that thought.
he tips his head back β lets the other man touch and kiss and explore him however he wants. hands slip away from steve's neck, reaching for his arms instead, and he presses himself up against him, humming at the way it feels to have those fingers run over his skin beneath his shirt. he's not in much β a t-shirt and his boxer briefs, but. steve's making it feel as though he's more than overdressed with all the things he's making him feel right now.
but this is how it should be, shouldn't it? to not be forced into touching each other like this by the city and its influence or demands to make a certain amount of quota per month. touching like this on their own terms β because they want to and don't need to... nate likes this β likes how right it feels and it has him arching his back up into the other man for a moment before he's pressing his shoulders into the mattress and looking up to steve, eyes glassy and curious. )
[ steve's already down to just shorts, nothing too restricting by any means, and with the way nate arches up against him, he can probably feel that he's not unaffected by being pressed together or the kisses that they've shared. that slight break has him resting his weight on his free hand, meeting nate's eyes and considering.
he doesn't need to ask him if he's sure. there's enough of that in the way he speaks and how he responds, but steve still watches him for a moment, eventually offering nate a soft smile. ]
Do you have anything? Or should I... ?
[ there's probably something in the apartment if not. no matter how many times he goes through and disposes of sex-related items, they always seem to appear as if by magic. still, he can't expect either of them to hold onto those things, and even asking is causing a warm sort of flush to work up the back of steve's neck. being forthright about things like this is taking time, especially when all of this is usually some kind of awkward.
but steve doesn't want it to be, settling a hand against nate's belly as he sits up and looks at him. ]
( he's glad steve knows exactly what he's talking about when he says he wants to feel him and the question to follow regarding if he has anything on him has nate unexpectedly give a huff of laughter. it's really sort of A Thing to talk about it still even for him. )
Uh, yeah. Justβ one sec.
( hand slipping away from steve's bicep, he reaches out into the darkness of the room and, gentle rustling sounds heard, a bottle of lubricant is pulled into his hand then, having pulled it out of the drawer with his mind.
sheepish smile there on his lips, he holds it up between them. )
[ as long as they're both on the same page, it doesn't matter. but it's probably going to take him a while to get used to the fact nate can do things like this. (and if they hadn't been doing this for the first time, it could potentially make sex very interesting.) steve takes the bottle and sets it aside, though within reach. ]
I think they just want it to be easy. [ or as easy as it can be. he pauses then, looking at nate. ] I've only done this twice before.
[ theory isn't all that different from practical application, he's found, but it's not quite the same for everyone anyway. or what makes them comfortable. steve wants nate to be comfortable. so, as awkward as it might be, communication is probably the most important part about this.
there's a soft clearing of his throat. ] So, um. Just tell me if something doesn't feel good?
( the honesty and communication thing is important especially in a place like this, so nate appreciates it and knows that steve deserves it just as much. he's his friend, so it's fine. )
I've only ever really done it twice, too.
( and it had been with the same person, so. looks like they're both in the same boat with lack of experience. but just like those two previous times, steve is just as considerate and concerned as wade had been and nate just... is grateful for that β is grateful to have found partners that take his own comfort into consideration and don't just use him as a quick fuck to be had. it might happen at some point here, he knows it might, but. for now, he has this. he has steve. )
Just... give me a second or two to get used to it? That's really all I ask.
( no head down, ass up, plowing him into the mattress from the get-go just yet. )
steve nods, fingers toying with the hem of nate's shirt as he shifts into a more comfortable position. they've been together and done enough things that he doesn't think that will be a problem. he's not the type to rush anyhow, and nate deserves that. he deserves patience and kindness and love. everyone does, but he has a soft spot for this person who looks at him with just as much trust. ]
We'll take our time, [ he reassures, leaning down to kiss him.
they don't have anywhere to go or anywhere to be, and the storm is beginning to pick up again outside, lightning brightening the room as he helps nate with his shirt so he can also press his mouth against all that skin exposed to him. ]
he shifts when steve goes and helps him out of his shirt, letting his head fall back against the pillows when it's off, sweet little moan there on his lips as steve's own press over the warmth of his skin. maybe this is boring β maybe this is too vanilla for some people, but for nate... it's good. it's good and it's right and it's something he wants with someone he wants. that itself means more to him than having a good hard fuck. to have that trust with steve and to know he can be vulnerable with him... it almost feels like a difficult thing to find with strangers here.
hands reach up and cradle steve's face, nate leaning in to kiss him then, just feeling the need to. he also feels the need to touch him, so he does. hands slipping away, roaming over every curve and muscle of steve's as they wander down. across his chest and along his arms, dropping to the front of his pants that he starts to help the other man out of while kissing him. )
[ this is the part that gets tricky, careful not to fall on top of nate or make it even more awkward as he slips out of his shorts. and just like that, he's naked on the bed with him. there's no shyness in that, pausing long enough to undress nate the rest of the way so he can press him down against the sheets. skin to skin, feeling all of him. there's always something about this kind of contact that he's found he enjoys; even if it hadn't been as intimate, it's still always intimate in some ways.
there's a soft sound of appreciation that follows, kissing him with an affection that's slowly built between them. he does care for nate, and there's obvious attraction too. he just needs to stop thinking about it so hard, stroking his hands along nate's sides and gently squeezing his hips before leaning to reach for the lube. steve's determined to take his time with this, positioning nate where he needs him before warming some of it up between his fingers. there's a moment he remembers he's only ever done this a total of twice, but as long as nate talks to him, it should go smoothly.
and he focuses almost intently, waiting until he's at least two fingers in—maybe three. then, as much as he can manage to not be a tease, steve uses a little more strength to press inside him with a testing thrust of his hand, waiting to feel nate move back against him or even ask to continue before doing anything else. ]
( this place is built upon the act of sex and intimacy in an almost forced sort of way. where lust and unbridled desire are favored, expected, encouraged among all, and sweetness like this is simply ok.
for nate, prior to coming here, the most he'd ever experienced had been a kiss with a woman now dead. intimacy in itself hadn't been anything he had explored or even wanted to. it's hard to when you're just trying to survive each day that comes β lay low and hope today isn't the day you're discovered. you're hunted. you're killed. his mind had been in a constant fight or flight mode that to be here β to be in a place so much more slower in terms of how to survive, it'd been jarring and he'd wanted nothing more than push back at everything and everyone here.
sometimes he feels like experiencing this β really experiencing it as one should in their life, is a means to land him into a sort of trap where he'll want to comply with this place and its expectations β not want to fight back anymore and fall into a sort of contentment that he's felt others here have within them. he doesn't want that. no matter how sweet some moments feel and yet, with the way steve touches him β takes his time with him and makes his heart flutter in ways he's rarely felt before coming here, it's hard not to. if even for just a little while.
head tipping back, the sound that leaves him when those fingers touch him from the inside is soft and surprised, bleeding into a long moan after. this part still takes him a little to get used to and he chases down any insecurities that steve might not find him worth it with being so inexperienced. steve himself isn't either, so this... this is ok. they can figure it out and move together. slow and steady, building up to something more intense. if they want.
blindly, he brushes fingers along the curve of the other man's shoulder and he lolls his head to the side, swallowing. eyes fluttering open as he looks to him with a flushed face and he smiles a bit as he nods. showing he's ok. showing that this is ok. )
Edited (not me noticing an error hours later closes my eyes) 2022-08-07 02:37 (UTC)
[ steve just follows the cues, listening to him and watching, and there's a different kind of excitement that comes with that, a slow build of desire that he ignores in favor of making sure that nate is as comfortable as he can be and that he's enjoying it. it might be too early to tell, but those are really the only important things to steve during all of this, pausing long enough to look down at him and take in all that flushed skin and whatever else he can make out in the shadows. the curve of his shoulders, that smile, the tension in his belly and his thighs.
he wonders, briefly, if they would have ever found this if they'd never contracted. if steve remained a submissive. it's difficult to tell, but he's getting distracted again.
there are better things to think about.
gently, he shifts nate a little so the angle won't be as awkward. ] Here. [ his voice is soft, bracing a hand against one of nate's knees to spread his legs wider. ] I'll try to go slow. [ it's a breathless promise, falling quiet the moment he reaches down to stroke himself a time or two. it's mostly for the lube and to have a guide, his other hand on a thigh as he pushes into nate.
the initial thrust is shallow, causing steve's breath to hitch just slightly at the feel around him, but he continues on despite that, eyes half-open to watch nate's face for any signs of unexpected discomfort. and that's all steve focuses on until he's deep inside him, hovering there over nate and not moving for the first few seconds until that's the only thing he can think to do. that he thinks they both want. maybe he'll never get used to this feeling either, being this close to someone else, being part of them, but there's care in the way he draws back and rocks forward, the rhythm slow and easy and giving nate plenty of room to dictate exactly what he wants and how he wants it. it doesn't keep steve from kissing him though, nudging at his mouth and nipping softly at his lower lip. ]
( the fact that he's only ever done this with one other person β that he's only done this a couple of times, shows in the way his face scrunches up in slight discomfort despite steve's gentle efforts. it's something he's still getting used to β that he wants to get used to with people here that he wants to do this with and he wants one of those people to be steve. he does. maybe a lot.
gentle appreciation spills from his lips in the sounds he makes as steve moves with thought and care, nate's fingers blindly grasping tight at the other man's biceps, needing to just hold onto something. thickly, he swallows, nodding at the other man's words regarding the pace he intends to set and there's the softest breath there on his lips right before a kiss is claimed from them and that breath bleeds into a quiet whimper.
softly, he cups steve's face with a hand, head tipping back and breaking their kiss for him to take a breath β to let go of the discomfort within him before he noses at the other man β at his friend and dominant here inside him. blue eyes searching steve's face, they fall shut a moment later and the sound that leaves his lips this time is still soft but more eager almost. )
Not too slow. ( he murmurs, huff of laughter just barely there on his lips so close to steve's. )
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I'm stronger than I look. [ his slight smile says he's teasing. ] But if you're that worried about it, you can check it for me.
[ he doesn't have any problem stripping out of his shirt if that's what nate needs to relax. ]
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I'm not exactly a doctor, but. Also not ever going to say no to you taking your shirt off.
( he laughs a little again, head ducking and white bangs falling in front of his face as he does. taking a moment to swallow, he looks back up to steve then, blue eyes curious. wondering. )
You're different. I don't know what it is, but... there's something. I feel like it has to do with that shield you have.
( he knows steve isn't a mutant. but he also knows there's others who are capable of things that aren't mutants or entirely human. )
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It's not about the shield, [ he says after a moment, absently curling his hands in the fabric of his shirt. ] When I was younger, the world was at war, and all I wanted then was to join the army. Fight for my country. Protect people who couldn't protect themselves. [ there's a light shake of his head. ] But I could never pass the physical. Not with the health record I had back then and the fact I was almost a foot shorter than I am now.
[ considering how scrawny he'd been? steve can still remember how everyone had laughed at him for trying to do what he'd thought was right. ]
Anyway, I met a good man who offered me a chance to change all that. It was an experiment with this serum... [ he lifts one shoulder in a shrug. ] The rest is history, I guess. They called me a super soldier, like that's all I was, and maybe, for a while, I believed that. Things change though. You don't have to be what people say you are.
[ that's not how it should work for anyone. ]
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gentle, he reaches out and lets the tips of his fingers touch at steve's shoulder then, splaying them over until his hand slowly brushes over his shoulder blade and down the curve of his back. )
I didn't see a super soldier when I met you here. I saw someone with a strong heart who wanted to help people.
( he knows that song and dance himself because, like steve, he also wants to protect and help people. even if he's more reactive than proactive about it.
bowing his head, he presses a faint ghost-touch of a kiss to the other man's shoulder, letting the tips of his fingers run over his back in various shapes and patterns. )
I still see that even now.
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it's intimate, suddenly, and it's startling how much he's missed this kind of connection with another person. ]
This place makes it difficult, but I'm trying.
[ the smile he offers nate is weak, though he does turn into him so he can grasp at his fingers. give them a squeeze. ]
I think we're alike in that way. [ and he lifts nate's hands to press a kiss against his knuckles. ]
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so he's right to say they're alike in certain ways and while he's not sure he would necessarily want someone else to know what it's like, there's a comfort in having steve get it. especially when that comfort turns soft and gentle like this. )
I also think your back is going to be ok.
( huff of laughter soft and sweet on his lips as he lifts his head from steve's shoulder, he stares to the other man before he leans in and noses at him gently, lips just barely there close to his. )
All we can do is try though. No matter what.
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Yeah, no matter what.
[ it's a murmur, conscious of how close they are, and it's oddly easy to just bridge that gap and kiss him. the contact is gentle, at first. just something to ground them both, easing into it and deepening it after a moment. it doesn't escape steve that he's already in nate's bed with his shirt off, but for now, he's content to kiss him and be close.
and he settles his hand on the back of nate's neck when a loud roll of thunder breaks their kiss and the silence. steve tries not to laugh. ]
Is it okay if I stay with you for a while?
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the crack of thunder causing their kiss to break has nate blink a couple times before he laughs a little himself, especially when steve goes and asks if he can stay awhile. no second thoughts needed, he just nods, brushing the pads of his fingers over the man's bicep as he does. )
Pretty sure it's more than ok, yeah.
( again, he laughs a little and he tilts his head, letting blue eyes scan over steve's face there in the darkness that he's grown accustomed to now. )
Especially if there's more making out involved?
( he's absolutely hopeful in the way he asks that. )
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I think we can manage that.
[ it's a soft tease, leaning to take another kiss before he moves to get a little more comfortable.
steve leaves his shirt, letting it drop to the floor, and once he's fully sitting on the bed, he urges nate into his lap so he can settle his hands at his hips. he gives them a squeeze, stroking up his sides and to his face to cup his cheeks. pulling him closer, their noses touch. ]
You sure you're gonna be okay?
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blue eyes falling shut, he hums a little softly at the question, a slow nod to follow. )
I've got you here with me. How can I not be?
( he can't help the smile there on his lips, even if it's soft in the darkness. )
There's no one else here I'd rather be contracted to. ( words soft, hands gently squeeze at steve's neck and he noses the man, chuckling softly against his mouth. ) Don't ask me if I'm sure about it or how I could still meet someone else. I said what I said and I mean it, so. You should just accept it.
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it's always a little more each time, finding the softness of his mouth and pressing into it for more. he tastes him, traces the edge of his tongue with his own, and that's something else too, humming quietly into the kiss as things begin to fall into place and make sense. nate's right; he doesn't think he'd want to be contracted to anyone else right now. maybe, eventually, he'd use his power as a dominant to help more people, but for now, it's good to just live together as they are. ]
I do. [ and that's not a lie, murmured against his lips as steve presses an even lighter kiss to his cheek. ] I'm glad you're here with me right now.
[ and that he isn't alone. that they understand each other a little more than before. ]
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Even if I'm not a real doctor? Wow, lucky me.
( tilt of his head, he laughs a little before he dives in for another kiss β a deeper kiss, ignoring the patter of the rain and the howling of the wind outside every now and then. just completely focused on steve and only steve. so much that he doesn't want to stop and so he tips them over and falls onto his back against the bed, pulling the other down with him, smile on his lips as he does as he catches steve's in another kiss. sighing happily into it as he does. )
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steve follows nate easily, pinning him against the mattress as they kiss, and it occurs to him that nate is considerably overdressed despite the fact he was just sleeping a short while ago. he's certain he wants more than this, though there's no rush to it whatsoever as he slides a hand under nate's shirt and traces the warmth of his skin. ]
Even if you're not a real doctor, [ he agrees, right against nate's ear in a low murmur. ] I like you just the way you are.
[ it's meant to be reassuring, kissing at the pulse point at the side of his neck as his mouth descends. steve traces the line of nate's collarbone as his fingers move, stroking over nate's ribs and across his abdomen. it feels good just to touch him, to have him respond and react, and he follows a trail up his throat and chin to kiss him like before, the contact deep and solid and very much expressing how much he wants nate. ]
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he tips his head back β lets the other man touch and kiss and explore him however he wants. hands slip away from steve's neck, reaching for his arms instead, and he presses himself up against him, humming at the way it feels to have those fingers run over his skin beneath his shirt. he's not in much β a t-shirt and his boxer briefs, but. steve's making it feel as though he's more than overdressed with all the things he's making him feel right now.
but this is how it should be, shouldn't it? to not be forced into touching each other like this by the city and its influence or demands to make a certain amount of quota per month. touching like this on their own terms β because they want to and don't need to... nate likes this β likes how right it feels and it has him arching his back up into the other man for a moment before he's pressing his shoulders into the mattress and looking up to steve, eyes glassy and curious. )
I like you, too. I wanna feel you.
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he doesn't need to ask him if he's sure. there's enough of that in the way he speaks and how he responds, but steve still watches him for a moment, eventually offering nate a soft smile. ]
Do you have anything? Or should I... ?
[ there's probably something in the apartment if not. no matter how many times he goes through and disposes of sex-related items, they always seem to appear as if by magic. still, he can't expect either of them to hold onto those things, and even asking is causing a warm sort of flush to work up the back of steve's neck. being forthright about things like this is taking time, especially when all of this is usually some kind of awkward.
but steve doesn't want it to be, settling a hand against nate's belly as he sits up and looks at him. ]
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Uh, yeah. Justβ one sec.
( hand slipping away from steve's bicep, he reaches out into the darkness of the room and, gentle rustling sounds heard, a bottle of lubricant is pulled into his hand then, having pulled it out of the drawer with his mind.
sheepish smile there on his lips, he holds it up between them. )
I swear these places just come with this stuff.
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I think they just want it to be easy. [ or as easy as it can be. he pauses then, looking at nate. ] I've only done this twice before.
[ theory isn't all that different from practical application, he's found, but it's not quite the same for everyone anyway. or what makes them comfortable. steve wants nate to be comfortable. so, as awkward as it might be, communication is probably the most important part about this.
there's a soft clearing of his throat. ] So, um. Just tell me if something doesn't feel good?
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I've only ever really done it twice, too.
( and it had been with the same person, so. looks like they're both in the same boat with lack of experience. but just like those two previous times, steve is just as considerate and concerned as wade had been and nate just... is grateful for that β is grateful to have found partners that take his own comfort into consideration and don't just use him as a quick fuck to be had. it might happen at some point here, he knows it might, but. for now, he has this. he has steve. )
Just... give me a second or two to get used to it? That's really all I ask.
( no head down, ass up, plowing him into the mattress from the get-go just yet. )
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steve nods, fingers toying with the hem of nate's shirt as he shifts into a more comfortable position. they've been together and done enough things that he doesn't think that will be a problem. he's not the type to rush anyhow, and nate deserves that. he deserves patience and kindness and love. everyone does, but he has a soft spot for this person who looks at him with just as much trust. ]
We'll take our time, [ he reassures, leaning down to kiss him.
they don't have anywhere to go or anywhere to be, and the storm is beginning to pick up again outside, lightning brightening the room as he helps nate with his shirt so he can also press his mouth against all that skin exposed to him. ]
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he shifts when steve goes and helps him out of his shirt, letting his head fall back against the pillows when it's off, sweet little moan there on his lips as steve's own press over the warmth of his skin. maybe this is boring β maybe this is too vanilla for some people, but for nate... it's good. it's good and it's right and it's something he wants with someone he wants. that itself means more to him than having a good hard fuck. to have that trust with steve and to know he can be vulnerable with him... it almost feels like a difficult thing to find with strangers here.
hands reach up and cradle steve's face, nate leaning in to kiss him then, just feeling the need to. he also feels the need to touch him, so he does. hands slipping away, roaming over every curve and muscle of steve's as they wander down. across his chest and along his arms, dropping to the front of his pants that he starts to help the other man out of while kissing him. )
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there's a soft sound of appreciation that follows, kissing him with an affection that's slowly built between them. he does care for nate, and there's obvious attraction too. he just needs to stop thinking about it so hard, stroking his hands along nate's sides and gently squeezing his hips before leaning to reach for the lube. steve's determined to take his time with this, positioning nate where he needs him before warming some of it up between his fingers. there's a moment he remembers he's only ever done this a total of twice, but as long as nate talks to him, it should go smoothly.
and he focuses almost intently, waiting until he's at least two fingers in—maybe three. then, as much as he can manage to not be a tease, steve uses a little more strength to press inside him with a testing thrust of his hand, waiting to feel nate move back against him or even ask to continue before doing anything else. ]
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for nate, prior to coming here, the most he'd ever experienced had been a kiss with a woman now dead. intimacy in itself hadn't been anything he had explored or even wanted to. it's hard to when you're just trying to survive each day that comes β lay low and hope today isn't the day you're discovered. you're hunted. you're killed. his mind had been in a constant fight or flight mode that to be here β to be in a place so much more slower in terms of how to survive, it'd been jarring and he'd wanted nothing more than push back at everything and everyone here.
sometimes he feels like experiencing this β really experiencing it as one should in their life, is a means to land him into a sort of trap where he'll want to comply with this place and its expectations β not want to fight back anymore and fall into a sort of contentment that he's felt others here have within them. he doesn't want that. no matter how sweet some moments feel and yet, with the way steve touches him β takes his time with him and makes his heart flutter in ways he's rarely felt before coming here, it's hard not to. if even for just a little while.
head tipping back, the sound that leaves him when those fingers touch him from the inside is soft and surprised, bleeding into a long moan after. this part still takes him a little to get used to and he chases down any insecurities that steve might not find him worth it with being so inexperienced. steve himself isn't either, so this... this is ok. they can figure it out and move together. slow and steady, building up to something more intense. if they want.
blindly, he brushes fingers along the curve of the other man's shoulder and he lolls his head to the side, swallowing. eyes fluttering open as he looks to him with a flushed face and he smiles a bit as he nods. showing he's ok. showing that this is ok. )
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he wonders, briefly, if they would have ever found this if they'd never contracted. if steve remained a submissive. it's difficult to tell, but he's getting distracted again.
there are better things to think about.
gently, he shifts nate a little so the angle won't be as awkward. ] Here. [ his voice is soft, bracing a hand against one of nate's knees to spread his legs wider. ] I'll try to go slow. [ it's a breathless promise, falling quiet the moment he reaches down to stroke himself a time or two. it's mostly for the lube and to have a guide, his other hand on a thigh as he pushes into nate.
the initial thrust is shallow, causing steve's breath to hitch just slightly at the feel around him, but he continues on despite that, eyes half-open to watch nate's face for any signs of unexpected discomfort. and that's all steve focuses on until he's deep inside him, hovering there over nate and not moving for the first few seconds until that's the only thing he can think to do. that he thinks they both want. maybe he'll never get used to this feeling either, being this close to someone else, being part of them, but there's care in the way he draws back and rocks forward, the rhythm slow and easy and giving nate plenty of room to dictate exactly what he wants and how he wants it. it doesn't keep steve from kissing him though, nudging at his mouth and nipping softly at his lower lip. ]
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gentle appreciation spills from his lips in the sounds he makes as steve moves with thought and care, nate's fingers blindly grasping tight at the other man's biceps, needing to just hold onto something. thickly, he swallows, nodding at the other man's words regarding the pace he intends to set and there's the softest breath there on his lips right before a kiss is claimed from them and that breath bleeds into a quiet whimper.
softly, he cups steve's face with a hand, head tipping back and breaking their kiss for him to take a breath β to let go of the discomfort within him before he noses at the other man β at his friend and dominant here inside him. blue eyes searching steve's face, they fall shut a moment later and the sound that leaves his lips this time is still soft but more eager almost. )
Not too slow. ( he murmurs, huff of laughter just barely there on his lips so close to steve's. )